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Items, in Clarence's Big Chance, are collected by Clarence Lardbottom, usually as an attempt to impress his date. Items are split into two categories: pick-ups and inventory items. Inventory items appear in the pause menu and are impossible to discard while pick-ups may not be clearly displayed and are sometimes expendable. All items are optional to obtain however the House Keys and nine normal keys are required to advance through the game to the end.

List of Items

Pick-ups

See also: Coin (Clarence's Big Chance).
CBCCoin #Coin
No in-game description.
Location
Use/Effect Can be used to buy gifts and meals which increase the date's mood.
Key (CBC) #Key
No in-game description.
Location Found in all areas (23 total)
Use/Effect Can be used to remove a Locked Door. Nine keys are required to finish the game.
Heart (CBC) #Heart
No in-game description.
Location
  • Found in Clarence's House and The Suburbs (14 total)
  • Dropped by enemies when killed
  • Dropped by Fluffy Cat Rooms
Use/Effect Restores one health point to Clarence.
Memorandum #Memorandum
No in-game description.
Location Generic Company: Various locations (ten total)
Use/Effect Unlocks Work Tasks which Clarence can complete to earn money, and a chance at a promotion.
Tooth (CBC) #Tooth
N/A
Location Generic Company: Various locations (ten total)
Use/Effect Collect all 10 to complete the LOST TEETH Work Task.
TaskTrends #Information
N/A
Location Generic Company: Internet (12 total)
Use/Effect Collect all 12 to complete the ANALYSE THE LATEST TRENDS Work Task.

Inventory items

Your Shirt and Tie #Your Shirt and Tie
A fancy pink shirt and brown tie that you think make you look like a man of good taste. You are deluded. Combine them with your trousers and shoes to Get Dressed!
Location Clarence's House: Clarence's Room
Use/Effect Combined with Your Trousers and Your Shoes to "Get Dressed", allowing the Business Suit to be collected. Not getting dressed decreases the date's mood by 8.
Your Trousers #Your Trousers
Generic grey office trousers, meant to prevent you from standing out. But at least they let you stand UP without shaming yourself!!!! Combine them with your shirt and shoes to Get Dressed!
Location Clarence's House: Clarence's Room - locked room
Use/Effect Combined with Your Shirt and Tie and Your Shoes to "Get Dressed", allowing the Business Suit to be collected. Not getting dressed decreases the date's mood by 8.
Your Shoes #Your Shoes
These are your favourite brown clogs. They make you the talk of the office, you know. Combine them with your shirt and trousers to Get Dressed!
Location Clarence's House: Hallway, near front door
Use/Effect Combined with Your Shirt and Tie and Your Trousers to "Get Dressed", allowing the Business Suit to be collected. Not getting dressed decreases the date's mood by 8.
Toothbrush #Toothbrush
Your toothbrush, which you've had since you were a tot. It smells like your arse, but it does its job like there's no tomorrow. Combine with Toothpaste to Clean Your Teeth!
Location Clarence's House: Bathroom
Use/Effect Combined with Toothpaste to "Clean Your Teeth", increasing the date's mood by 2. Missing out one or both items decreases the mood instead (by 2, or by 4 if the Hamburger is collected).
Toothpaste #Toothpaste
It's 'Super Toth' brand; cheap, foreign, and tastes suspiciously like bleach. Combine with a Toothbrush to Clean Your Teeth!
Location Clarence's House: Bathroom
Use/Effect Combined with Toothbrush to "Clean Your Teeth", increasing the date's mood by 2. Missing out one or both items decreases the mood instead (by 2, or by 4 if the Hamburger is collected).
A Shower #A Shower
You have had a shower, by collecting these beads of water hanging sparkling in the air. Now you're aaaall clean!!!
Location Clarence's House: Bathroom
Use/Effect Collecting A Shower increases the date's mood (by 1, or by 2 if Father's Cologne is collected). Not having A Shower decreases the mood instead (by 1, or by 4 if Father's Cologne is collected).
Fathers Cologne #Father's Cologne
The very same bottle that your wily old man used to woo your mother, back in the day. A whiff of this bad boy wafting from your burly bod is sure to knock any girl's knickers off!
Location Clarence's House: Parents' Room - Whore Room
Use/Effect Combining it with A Shower increases the date's mood further. Collecting it without A Shower decreases the date's mood further instead.
Soppy Poem #Soppy Poem
In your teenage years, you thought yourself quite the romantic, and wrote many a swoon-inducing poem. They never saw any use... until now!! This one - 'A Rose So Sweet' - will wet your ladyfriend right up!
Location Clarence's House: Attic - locked room
Use/Effect Unlocks the Conversation Topic "thou rt like a summer breeze in the wind", which can boost the date's mood regardless of her libido.
Lovely Necklace #Lovely Necklace
An old necklace that presumably once belonged to your mother, or someone who died down here. Give it as a gift to charm and woo your ladyfriend!
Location Clarence's House:Basement
Use/Effect Given as an additional gift to Clarence's date, boosting the date's mood by 1.
Hamburger #Hamburger
A sloppy, fatty, greasy hamburger which will make you all the more fatter and will cause your breath to absolutely reek. A healthy breakfast on date day, right? Good going, Casanova.
Location Clarence's House: First room in the Kitchen, in plain sight.
Use/Effect Causes Clarence to feel sick, decreasing the date's mood. Further decreases the date's mood if you didn't "Clean your Teeth".
Cereal #Cereal
A bowl of athentic Granny Leatherbosom's Hell-O's; the Prince of Lies' favourite. There's no milk on them though. Collect some milk to Eat A Healthy Breakfast!
Location Clarence's House: Kitchen - Freezer
Use/Effect Combined with Milk to "Eat a Healthy Breakfast", increasing the mood of the date (by 2, or by 1 if the Hamburger is collected). Collecting one or neither decreases the mood of the date instead (by 1, or by 2 if the Hamburger is collected).
Milk #Milk
Mmmm-MMM! Three-week-old oven-roasted milk! Just how you like it! Lumpy and slightly singed! Pour it on some cereal to Eat A Healthy Breakfast!
Location Clarence's House: Kitchen - Oven
Use/Effect Combined with Cereal to "Eat a Healthy Breakfast", increasing the mood of the date (by 2, or by 1 if the Hamburger is collected). Collecting one or neither decreases the mood of the date instead (by 1, or by 2 if the Hamburger is collected).
House Keys #House Keys
Ah, so that's where you left them! These keys will open the front door to your house, allowing you to begin your journey to work.
Location Clarence's House: Living Room
Use/Effect Unlocks the front door, allowing access to the level exit. It is the only unique item that is mandatory to collect.
Business Suit #Business Suit
A fancy suit, to mark your promotion to Executive. It comes complete with shoes, a tie, and some swanky-looking sunglasses which are sure to blow the pants right off your potential partner.
Location Generic Company: 4F - Boss Room (complete all tasks and arrive dressed)
Use/Effect Boosts the date's mood by 2.
White Chocolates #White Chocolates
A box of expensive WHITE chocolates, in a heart-shaped box. Just the thing to win your way into a lady's heart! Assuming she likes this flavour...
Location Streets at Night: Shop #1 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of chocolate can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Milk Chocolates #Milk Chocolates
A box of expensive MILK chocolates, in a heart-shaped box. Just the thing to win your way into a lady's heart! Assuming she likes this flavour...
Location Streets at Night: Shop #1 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of chocolate can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Dark Chocolates #Dark Chocolates
A box of expensive DARK chocolates, in a heart-shaped box. Just the thing to win your way into a lady's heart! Assuming she likes this flavour...
Location Streets at Night: Shop #1 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of chocolate can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Stuffed Fox #Stuffed Fox
This fox was never alive; it is in fact 'stuffed' in the 'soft toy' kind of way, rather than in the 'taxidermy' way. It'd make a cute gift... if she likes this animal.
Location Streets at Night: Shop #2 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of stuffed animal can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Stuffed Stoat #Stuffed Stoat
This stoat was never alive; it is in fact 'stuffed' in the 'soft toy' kind of way, rather than in the 'taxidermy' way. It'd make a cute gift... if she likes this animal.
Location Streets at Night: Shop #2 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of stuffed animal can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Stuffed Sea Slug #Stuffed Sea Slug
This sea slug was never alive; it is in fact 'stuffed' in the 'soft toy' kind of way, rather than in the 'taxidermy' way. It'd make a cute gift... if she likes this animal.
Location Streets at Night: Shop #2 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of stuffed animal can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Roses #Roses
A bouquet of red roses. They're a convenient way of expressing emotions if you lack the capacity to do so verbally, which you certainly do! Does she like this type of flower, though?
Location Streets at Night: Shop #3 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of flower can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Tulips #Tulips
A bouquet of blue tulips. They're a convenient way of expressing emotions if you lack the capacity to do so verbally, which you certainly do! Does she like this type of flower, though?
Location Streets at Night: Shop #3 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of flower can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
Lilies #Lilies
A bouquet of white lilies. They're a convenient way of expressing emotions if you lack the capacity to do so verbally, which you certainly do! Does she like this type of flower, though?
Location Streets at Night: Shop #3 (costs £250)
Use/Effect Only one type of flower can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
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