Items, in Clarence's Big Chance, are collected by Clarence Lardbottom, usually as an attempt to impress his date. Items are split into two categories: pick-ups and inventory items. Inventory items appear in the pause menu and are impossible to discard while pick-ups may not be clearly displayed and are sometimes expendable. All items are optional to obtain however the House Keys and nine normal keys are required to advance through the game to the end.
A fancy pink shirt and brown tie that you think make you look like a man of good taste. You are deluded. Combine them with your trousers and shoes to Get Dressed!
Location
Clarence's House: Clarence's Room
Use/Effect
Combined with Your Trousers and Your Shoes to "Get Dressed", allowing the Business Suit to be collected. Not getting dressed decreases the date's mood by 8.
Generic grey office trousers, meant to prevent you from standing out. But at least they let you stand UP without shaming yourself!!!! Combine them with your shirt and shoes to Get Dressed!
Location
Clarence's House: Clarence's Room - locked room
Use/Effect
Combined with Your Shirt and Tie and Your Shoes to "Get Dressed", allowing the Business Suit to be collected. Not getting dressed decreases the date's mood by 8.
These are your favourite brown clogs. They make you the talk of the office, you know. Combine them with your shirt and trousers to Get Dressed!
Location
Clarence's House: Hallway, near front door
Use/Effect
Combined with Your Shirt and Tie and Your Trousers to "Get Dressed", allowing the Business Suit to be collected. Not getting dressed decreases the date's mood by 8.
Your toothbrush, which you've had since you were a tot. It smells like your arse, but it does its job like there's no tomorrow. Combine with Toothpaste to Clean Your Teeth!
Location
Clarence's House: Bathroom
Use/Effect
Combined with Toothpaste to "Clean Your Teeth", increasing the date's mood by 2. Missing out one or both items decreases the mood instead (by 2, or by 4 if the Hamburger is collected).
It's 'Super Toth' brand; cheap, foreign, and tastes suspiciously like bleach. Combine with a Toothbrush to Clean Your Teeth!
Location
Clarence's House: Bathroom
Use/Effect
Combined with Toothbrush to "Clean Your Teeth", increasing the date's mood by 2. Missing out one or both items decreases the mood instead (by 2, or by 4 if the Hamburger is collected).
You have had a shower, by collecting these beads of water hanging sparkling in the air. Now you're aaaall clean!!!
Location
Clarence's House: Bathroom
Use/Effect
Collecting A Shower increases the date's mood (by 1, or by 2 if Father's Cologne is collected). Not having A Shower decreases the mood instead (by 1, or by 4 if Father's Cologne is collected).
The very same bottle that your wily old man used to woo your mother, back in the day. A whiff of this bad boy wafting from your burly bod is sure to knock any girl's knickers off!
Location
Clarence's House: Parents' Room - Whore Room
Use/Effect
Combining it with A Shower increases the date's mood further. Collecting it without A Shower decreases the date's mood further instead.
In your teenage years, you thought yourself quite the romantic, and wrote many a swoon-inducing poem. They never saw any use... until now!! This one - 'A Rose So Sweet' - will wet your ladyfriend right up!
Location
Clarence's House: Attic - locked room
Use/Effect
Unlocks the Conversation Topic "thou rt like a summer breeze in the wind", which can boost the date's mood regardless of her libido.
A sloppy, fatty, greasy hamburger which will make you all the more fatter and will cause your breath to absolutely reek. A healthy breakfast on date day, right? Good going, Casanova.
Location
Clarence's House: First room in the Kitchen, in plain sight.
Use/Effect
Causes Clarence to feel sick, decreasing the date's mood. Further decreases the date's mood if you didn't "Clean your Teeth".
A bowl of athentic Granny Leatherbosom's Hell-O's; the Prince of Lies' favourite. There's no milk on them though. Collect some milk to Eat A Healthy Breakfast!
Location
Clarence's House: Kitchen - Freezer
Use/Effect
Combined with Milk to "Eat a Healthy Breakfast", increasing the mood of the date (by 2, or by 1 if the Hamburger is collected). Collecting one or neither decreases the mood of the date instead (by 1, or by 2 if the Hamburger is collected).
Mmmm-MMM! Three-week-old oven-roasted milk! Just how you like it! Lumpy and slightly singed! Pour it on some cereal to Eat A Healthy Breakfast!
Location
Clarence's House: Kitchen - Oven
Use/Effect
Combined with Cereal to "Eat a Healthy Breakfast", increasing the mood of the date (by 2, or by 1 if the Hamburger is collected). Collecting one or neither decreases the mood of the date instead (by 1, or by 2 if the Hamburger is collected).
A fancy suit, to mark your promotion to Executive. It comes complete with shoes, a tie, and some swanky-looking sunglasses which are sure to blow the pants right off your potential partner.
Location
Generic Company: 4F - Boss Room (complete all tasks and arrive dressed)
A box of expensive WHITE chocolates, in a heart-shaped box. Just the thing to win your way into a lady's heart! Assuming she likes this flavour...
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #1 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of chocolate can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
A box of expensive MILK chocolates, in a heart-shaped box. Just the thing to win your way into a lady's heart! Assuming she likes this flavour...
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #1 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of chocolate can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
A box of expensive DARK chocolates, in a heart-shaped box. Just the thing to win your way into a lady's heart! Assuming she likes this flavour...
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #1 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of chocolate can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
This fox was never alive; it is in fact 'stuffed' in the 'soft toy' kind of way, rather than in the 'taxidermy' way. It'd make a cute gift... if she likes this animal.
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #2 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of stuffed animal can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
This stoat was never alive; it is in fact 'stuffed' in the 'soft toy' kind of way, rather than in the 'taxidermy' way. It'd make a cute gift... if she likes this animal.
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #2 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of stuffed animal can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
This sea slug was never alive; it is in fact 'stuffed' in the 'soft toy' kind of way, rather than in the 'taxidermy' way. It'd make a cute gift... if she likes this animal.
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #2 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of stuffed animal can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
A bouquet of red roses. They're a convenient way of expressing emotions if you lack the capacity to do so verbally, which you certainly do! Does she like this type of flower, though?
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #3 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of flower can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
A bouquet of blue tulips. They're a convenient way of expressing emotions if you lack the capacity to do so verbally, which you certainly do! Does she like this type of flower, though?
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #3 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of flower can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.
A bouquet of white lilies. They're a convenient way of expressing emotions if you lack the capacity to do so verbally, which you certainly do! Does she like this type of flower, though?
Location
Streets at Night: Shop #3 (costs £250)
Use/Effect
Only one type of flower can be bought. Depending on her preferences, which are learnt through Laptops, the gift will either boost the date's mood by 2 if liked, boost it by 1 if neutral, or decrease it by 1 if disliked.