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This page contains the date transcript for Clarence's Big Chance.

Clarence's Date's Mood starts at 40. Its final value after the date determines the ending.

Intro

Date
Um... hi.
Wow, you're... Clarence? You?!? Um. Okay. Not quite what I was expecting, I'll be honest, but... maybe we can make this work?! I'm willing to give it a try!
Clarence (dialogue choices)
hello there sally im excited to meet u
hello there gertrude im excited to meet u
hello there wanda im excited to meet u

(if Clarence says the correct name - Mood+2)

Date
Ooh, I'm so glad you remembered my name! I think I only mentioned it once to you.
I thought you might actually call me StrawberryGirl54, since that's what you've known me as, um... Mr StudMuffin69.
But that would have been embarrassing.

(if otherwise - Mood-2)

Date
Um, it's (name) actually. You must be confusing me with some other slapper you've been going out with.
I know I only told you once, but the least you could have done is remembered, since I agreed to go on a date with you, after all.
Already this is off to a poor start, but let's hope that was just a nervous slip-up. How will you redeem yourself now, sir?

(if Clarence is wearing the business suit - Mood+2)

Date
Ooh, nice suit. Very smart! And those shades are very cool. You look like some kind of secret agent or something!

(if Clarence is dressed for work - Mood is unaffected)

Date
I'm glad you're wearing clothes. Some guys think it's okay to show up to dates in their underwear. Always a bad start, that.

(if Clarence is not dressed - Mood-8)

Date
Gods, do you even *care* that you're waltzing around in your underpants? Looks like you've not even got anything worth showing off down there!
I really hope you're just 'charmingly eccentric'.
But, I mean, -gods-, is that even -legal-? You're not a retard, are you...?

(if Clarence took a shower and applied cologne - Mood+2)

Date
Mmm, I like what I smell. I like guys who put the time into giving themselves a handsome musk, and I must say that yours is well chosen.

(if Clarence only took a shower - Mood+1)

Date
I'm glad you at least pay attention to your hygiene. Y'know, guys with, uh... faces like yours... tend not to even try, so I appreciate that you have.

(if Clarence only applied cologne - Mood-4)

Date
Eugh! What is that SMELL? It smells like the pigs! Is that YOU? Eugh!
I bet you're one of those guys who thinks some pongy man perfume is the way to turn on the ladies. Well, it's not.

(if Clarence did neither - Mood-1)

Date
Um... did you have a busy day? Or did you even shower this morning? Your odour is a bit... ripe.
Sorry, but it's hurting my nose a bit, even from over here.

(if Clarence brushed his teeth - Mood+2)

Date
I've always liked guys with pearly teeth and minty breaths, and you, sir, do not disappoint! Hee.

(if Clarence did not brush his teeth, but ate a hamburger - Mood-4)

Date
Has something *died* in here? Is that your -breath- I can smell? Gods, how disgusting! What have you been eating? Sewer chunks?
I don't want to have my mouth on THAT, that's for sure!

(if Clarence did neither - Mood-2)

Date
Could you, um... please breathe with your mouth shut? Your breath is a bit... noxious... and it's making me sort of sick.

(if Clarence had a healthy breakfast - Mood+2)

Date
There's something about you... I don't know what it is, but you seem really 'healthy'. I like a man who knows how to take care of himself.

(if Clarence also had a hamburger - Mood+1)

Date
Are you okay? You look sort of sick, like maybe you've stuffed yourself with too much food today.

(if Clarence only had a hamburger - Mood-2)

Date
I take it you don't take care to eat well? Like so many men, you don't pay attention to your figure, and I don't really find flab very attractive.

(if Clarence did not eat breakfast - Mood-1)

Date
Have you eaten today? You look starved and exhausted. You don't live on the streets, do you...? Don't worry; we'll get some food in a minute.

-End dialogue branches-

Date
Hey, um... You have a job, right? What do you do?

(if Clarence was fired from his job - Mood-6)

Date
You DON'T have a job? ...Hmm. I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I? I was sort of hoping for a guy I could rely on, to be honest.

(if Clarence was not fired, but didn't get the promotion - Mood is unchanged)

Date
You work in an office? I suppose most people do, don't they? Is it fun? No? Oh well.

(if Clarence got the promotion - Mood+2)

Date
You're an Executive, eh? Impressive. We women like men with power; true fact!
You can... executise... me any day. Execute? Wait, um, no.

-End dialogue branches-

Gifts

Date
What's this? You've got some gifts for me?

(if Clarence has the Lovely Necklace - Mood+1)

Date
A -silver necklace-? For me? Oh, wow! That's... so sweet! And amazing!
Most guys wouldn't even splash out on a few flowers for a first date, so you've really gone the extra mile here. Thank you!
Do you have any more gifts?

(if Clarence bought Milk Chocolates)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
Chocolates! Ooh! For me? Oh, you shouldn't have!
Milk chocolates are my favourite! I'm looking forward to stuffing these in my face later, and you never know, you might be there with me...
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
Are those chocolates? For me? Aw, how sweet! Thanks!
Milk chooclates[sic] aren't my favourite, but they're okay. So thanks a lot; it's a really nice gesture.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
Oh, um, chocolates? I appreciate the gesture, but, um, I really have this thing against milk chocolate, sorry...
It's sweet and all, it's just... I can't really eat these.
-End dialogue branches for chocolate-
Date
Got anything else for little old me...?

(if Clarence bought Dark Chocolates)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
What's that you've got there for me? A box of chocolates? You, sir, have caught my attention!
Dark chocolate is my favourite! How did you know? They're deep like a pleasant night, and rich like... money. I like those things.
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
A box of chocolates? Oh, okay; I'll take those.
Dark isn't my preferred kind, but a girl can't say no to some free choccies!
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
You got me some chocolates? A sweet gesture, if a tad typical..."
I don't really like dark chocolates though, I'm afraid. Maybe you should keep them for yourself... Sorry.
-End dialogue branches for chocolate-
Date
Anything else up your sleeve, sir?

(if Clarence bought White Chocolates)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
Oh my gods, white chocolates! Gimme!
I really, really like that you got me these! I LOVE white chocolate, but so many other people don't, so it's rare it's given as a gift. So thanks a whole bunch!
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
Oh, now, aren't you a romantic? A heart-shaped box of chocolates is such a corny gift, but it's not like I don't appreciate it!
I'll take free chocolates any day! I've not had white chocolates in a long time though; I hope I didn't used to hate them or something!
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
Chocolates? They're not... -white- chocolates, are they? Oh, they are? Ew...
White chocolates remind me of racism. Besides, they taste like old milk or something. I don't really want those...
-End dialogue branches for chocolate-
Date
I'm impressed you got me anything at all, but is there more to come?

(if Clarence bought Roses)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
Roses? For me? Blush! What a romantic gesture!
I really love roses... They're fairly typical, but not without good reason. They're all about passion and romance and love...
And that's what you might be getting if all goes well for you tonight, big boy. Hee.
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
Flowers? For me? That's... cute. Thanks, I appreciate the gesture.
Roses? Fairly standard, but I can understand why you'd want to go with what's tried and true.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
You got me some roses? My, aren't you original?
-Every- guy thinks he can win his way into a girl's heart - or pants, usually - with a bouquet or roses, as if nobody's ever tried it before.
Just annoys me. You could at least put a -bit- of thought into it, eugh.
-End dialogue branches for flowers-
Date
Got anything else?

(if Clarence bought Tulips)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
Oh, you brought me flowers? How romantic! How charming! And... are those tulips? I love tulips.
Most guys just get roses, going down the standard path, but I like tulips much more because they're more unusual, more unique.
They seem to say to me that you'd think a bit differently to the average guy, that you'd maybe not be after the same thing... I'm intrigued.
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
A bunch of flowers for me? That's nice, Clarence, thank you.
I don't really recognise these blue flowers, but they're pretty, I suppose. Thanks.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
A bouquet of tulips? Bleh... They remind me of my first boyfriend, Dave. What a tosser.
I mean, um, you're not him, but I suppose I spoiled your nice gesture a bit with my memories, sorry. Makes them hard to enjoy though...
-End dialogue branches for flowers-
Date
Any more gifts?

(if Clarence bought Lilies)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
A bouquet of lilies? Aren't -you- Mr Suave! Lilies are my favourite flower!
They're symbols of purity and grace... at least to me, anyway. I consider it quite the compliment that you'd honour me with such a gift.
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
Aww, those white flowers are so pretty and delicate and bright. They look really nice. Thanks.
Flowers are sort of useless, but they're a good way of showing your intentions and how you've put the effort in, so I appreciate that. Thank you.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
Are those lilies? Um... aren't those like... usually for funerals or something, maybe? I think that's where I usually see them.
Y'know, at all the funerals I go to. Of people who tried to give me lilies.... Yeh.
But seriously, I know what you're trying to do; I just don't like lilies. Such deathly vibes.
-End dialogue branches for flowers-
Date
Anything else in your bag of tricks, sir?

(if Clarence bought a Stuffed Fox)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
Awwwww! Is that a cuddly little fox? How cuuuute!
Hewwo, wickle foxy-woxy! Hee! I love foxes. There's just something about their pointy little noses that really gets me.
Thanks, Clarence! -Someone- will be joining me in bed tonight!
Of course, I mean the fox... maybe. Hee.
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
A stuffed animal? A fox? My! Um... thanks, I suppose! Not quite what I was expecting, but it's really cute!
I don't usually admit this out loud, but I've collected stuffed animals since I was a little girl...
This little fella's going staight to the collection in my bedroom!
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
What's this? A stuffed animal? What do you think I am, a child? Hmm...
And I notice it's a fox. Those mangy pests that root through bins. My dad used to shoot foxes and hang them on the fence.

(if Clarence bought a Stuffed Stoat)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
OH MY GOD is that a STOAT?!?
I like stoats!
I really do! They're so utterly, totally cute! I mean, how can you -not- love them? That's probably not even physically possible!
I actually collect stoat-related stuff, you know, so this is right up my alley! Thanks so very much, Clarence! ♥
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
You got me a cuddly animal? Aw, how cute. And it's a stoat, too! Those are lovely.
Not really my favourite animal or anything, but who can say no to a cuddly little stoat?
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
Is this... a stuffed stoat? That's, um...
I mean, I love stoats - who doesn't? - but I consider this graven image of one to be in bad taste.
Stoats should be admired prancing in the wild, or crawling up your leg after a wild night, not as cutesified cuddly toys.
My views may be unconventional here, but dammit, they're firm! Those noble beasts should not be subject to such perverse mockery!

(if Clarence bought a Stuffed Sea Slug)

(Positive response - Mood+2)
Date
I can't believe you're giving me this!
I mean, oh my gods, I ABSOLUTELY ADORE sea slugs! Squee!
What are the chances that such an obscure animal even comes in cuddly form, let alone you choosing it surely from amongst others?
Thanks so much for getting me one of these rather than some generic cute and cuddly mammal!
I can really relate to the sea slug sometimes. They're really beautiful, but often ignored...
(Neutral response - Mood+1)
Date
Wow, um... okay. A stuffed sea slug. That's certainly... unique, I'll give you that.
While it's not something I imagined my Prince Charming giving me on a first date, I will say I'm intrigued by what's to come.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Date
Is this some kind of joke? Because I'm not laughing.
I mean, not only have you got me a stuffed animal - suitable for little babies - but it's in the image of a -sea slug-?
Not exactly the cutest animal around; even -you- should have known that. Pfft.
-End dialogue branches for stuffed animals-

(if Clarence has no gifts)

(Mood-1)
Date
You don't? Oh. Well. Um... it's just that, well, guys usually do. Makes us girls feel appreciated.
Maybe you can use that as a tip for the next time you're with a girl.

(if Clarence has at least one gift)

Date
That's all you're giving me? Oh, okay; I'm not complaining or asking for more or anything, it was really nice of you to get anything at all!
Date (if Clarence has more than one gift)
Let alone X gifts!
Date
Few guys would do the same, so I really appreciate that you went to the effort.

-End dialogue branches-

Food

Date
But hey, I'm quite hungry, and this is a restaurant, after all. Let's order some food. I'll leave the choice to you.

(Clarence orders food.)

(if Clarence orders something he can't afford)

Date
Um... I take it that's some kind of joke? You clearly can't afford that. Please order something that's not out of your price range.

(if Clarence orders water - Mood-10)

Date
Water? Just water? Are you serious? Do you have NO money at all? Gods, what a cheapskate. I'm embarrassed to be here with you.
Fine, I'll drink my water, thanks sir. You sure know how to show a girl a good time, don't you?
Eugh...

(if Clarence orders a turnip)

(if his date likes vegetables - Mood+1)
Date
A turnip... Not the most romantic meal in the world, but I am a vegetarian, so at least it's something I'm willing to eat.
Maybe this restaurant's a bit out of your league, but oh well; can't complain too much. Princes and kings are probably out of my league, too.
(if his date is neutral regarding vegetables - Mood is unchanged)
Date
...Well. At least it's something. Can't say it's my favourite or anything, but at least it's something. Yes. That's what I'll tell myself.
Still, a turnip isn't the most romantic meal ever imagined... Sigh.
(if his date dislikes vegetables - Mood-2)
Date
Oh, boy, aren't you the big spender? And what's this? A single turnip?
I'm tempted to rant about how insulted this makes me, but I have my manners... I have my manners.
But not my appetite. I'll wait until I get home, if it's all the same to you.

(if Clarence orders a sausage)

(if his date likes meat - Mood+1)
Date
A sausage... Um, okay. Whatever. I like sausages, and it's filling, so I suppose it'll do.
Not what I came to a posh restaurant for, but we can't all be millionaires, I suppose. And for me, at least, it's free, so I can't complain.
(if his date is neutral regarding meat - Mood is unchanged)
Date
If we must... A greasy sausage is not the most enchanting thing in the world, but food's food. A mere practicality. It's not why I'm here anyway.
Let's hope your conversation's more stimulating than your, um, willingness to splash out on fancy nosh.
(if his date dislikes meat - Mood-2)
Date
I don't eat meat, which sausages, you may have noticed, are. So not only did you order a cheap meal, you got something I can't even eat.
Not the best way to win a girl's heart, dear... Not by a long shot.
Anyway, I can't eat this, sorry. You help yourself though. You look like you enjoy a good meal.

(if Clarence orders Fish and chips)

(if his date likes seafood - Mood+1)
Date
Well, I do at least like seafood... Not that fish and chips is the most sparkling example of that genre of dining.
Still, it fills you up, and it does me well enough for most days of the week. Food isn't why we're here, anyway.
(if his date is neutral regarding seafood - Mood is unchanged)
Date
Yeh, alright. I'll eat that. Not exactly fine dining, but that fancy stuff isn't ever very filling anyway, is it?
We're here to get to know eachother anyway, and I can't say no to a free meal, no matter how, uh... cheap or common.
(Actually, I'm amazed a place of this calibre even DOES fish and chips...)
(if his date dislikes seafood - Mood-2)
Date
I suppose this is some kind of gesture, showing how you're not some pretentious posh type, how you don't like to flaunt your wealth or something...
Or maybe you just are genuinely common and known no better, I don't know.
Either way, I can't say I'm feeling very charmed right now, Casanova. Maybe try some of your other smooth moves and you might even make me smile.

(if Clarence orders Exciting Salad)

(if his date likes vegetables - Mood+4)
Date
Ooh, an exciting salad! How, um, exciting! Really, it is; I'm not being sarcastic!
Did you know I was a vegetarian? Because I am. I'm used to eating salad. I was afraid you'd order steak or something...
So, um, it's good that you didn't!
(if his date is neutral regarding vegetables - Mood+2)
Date
Salad? That's fine. It's healthy and everything.
And I'm glad you're willing to spend so much on the meal; some guys just go for the cheapest thing on the menu.
(if his date dislikes vegetables - Mood-1)
Date
Ew, salad? Don't people only ever eat this when they're fat and want to go on a diet or something?
I mean, I'll eat it, okay, but I'd have preferred something I could actually have enjoyed.

(if Clarence orders Liver and Onions)

(if his date likes meat - Mood+4)
Date
I'm a fan of meat eating, so this liver and onions will please me just fine.
I noticed you got something from about the middle of the menu. You care, but might not have any more to give. I understand.
I wasn't really expecting any more than that, but thank you anyway for not being too cheap.
(if his date is neutral regarding meat - Mood+2)
Date
This isn't something that I've had before, but it cost a fair bit, so I'll give it a go. I mean, it looks okay...
(if his date dislikes meat - Mood-1)
Date
Ew, I'm not a fan of meat in general, but eating some organ of some animal is a thought that makes me really nauseous...
I'm having difficulty even looking at the thing, um, sorry...

(if Clarence orders Smoked Cod)

(if his date likes seafood - Mood+4)
Date
Ah, fish! You're a thinker, maybe? Fish is good for the brain, y'know. I like it!
I think I like smoked white fish the best, too; I'll enjoy this.
(if his date is neutral regarding seafood - Mood+2)
Date
A nice filling, appetising meal from the middle of the menu; just what I'd have expected.
Not disappointing at all, but nor am I wowed. Um, thanks anyway, though; I don't mean to seem ungrateful.
(if his date dislikes seafood - Mood-1)
Date
I'm not too keen on fish... It goes all flaky and ew. Hard to eat.
It's okay, you didn't know, but sorry, I'd probably have rather had something different...
It's my fault for letting you choose though, so I did sort of walk into it. Too late to change my mind now though.

(if Clarence orders Exquisite Truffles)

(if his date likes vegetables - Mood+8)
Date
Oh my gods! You didn't have to spend THAT much, seriously! I'd have been fine with a salad!
But wow... Seriously, wow. I've always wanted to try truffles once in my life but could never afford it, so you've literally made one of my dreams come true!
Thanks sooo much; you're a really great guy! I'm gonna love this!
(if his date is neutral regarding vegetables - Mood+4)
Date
That's one of the most expensive things on the menu! Wow!
Truffles are rather posh, aren't they? If you can afford to spend like this on a meal for our first date, then I'm eager to see what other surprises you're hiding!
To be honest, I was expecting you to just order a turnip or something... Boy, was I wrong!
(if his date dislikes vegetables - Mood+2)
Date
Truffles? Aren't those those 'orrible manky things that grow in the muck of the ground that posh people eat all the time to show how rich they are?
I've never fancied trying one, but now that I've got some in front of me, I'm honestly intrigued!
Maybe I'll have to turn my opinions about them around; they're quite nice, actually.
And wow, are you a spender or what!

(if Clarence orders Grand Sirloin Steak)

(if his date likes meat - Mood+8)
Date
Now that's what I'm talking about! You sure know how to make a lady feel special!
This sirloin steak is the poshest meat on the menu, and it's right up my street; I'm a carnivore through and through, me.
I'll have to tell my friends about this; it's a life-enhancing experience, that's for sure!
(if his date is neutral regarding meat - Mood+4)
Date
I see you're a top-of-the-menu kind of bloke; don't see those every day!
These sirloin steaks are this restaurant's pride and joy, the thing that people always recommend but few can actually afford.
You, sir, have impressed me with your liberal spending. Well done!
(if his date dislikes meat - Mood+2)
Date
Usually I'm not too keen on meat... But wow, you really didn't hold back with this.
It was sooo expensive, but you'd spend that much without batting an eyelid, for me?
I'd be quite the ungrateful hag if I turned this down! So, um... yum-yum! Thanks!

(if Clarence orders Lobster Thermadore)

(if his date likes seafood - Mood+8)
Date
Gasp! Shock! I've always wanted to try one of these!!
I mean, you see people eating lobster thermadore in the films all the time, but I always thought I'd have to be a celebrity before I'd get to try a bite of it.
Thanks, Clarence! Your generosity - or abundant wealth, whichever it is - is really admirable! ♥
Now, how do you eat this thing, anyway...?
(if his date is neutral regarding seafood - Mood+4)
Date
I've never tried lobster before, but it's one of those posh foods that fancy celebrities and stuff eat all the time, isn't it?
I can feel like I superstar, or a princess, tonight, so for that, I'm glad! You sure know how to make a girl feel like she's worth something to you!
(if his date dislikes seafood - Mood+2)
Date
A lobster...! The, um... insects of the sea! Big old ugly insects...
N-not that I'm complaining, no! This cost you a whole lot, I realise that, and few guys would do that on a first date.
So, um, I appreciate it... and stuff!

--End dialogue branches for food--

Conversation topics

Date
Sooo... Since this is a date, how about we get to know eachother a bit? Yeah, let's chat. That's the way these things usually work.

Chat-up Advice

Note: You need to unlock the options in the work level to have them available for the date.

1. "uh... thems some nice boobys u have"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood-2)
Date
I BEG your pardon?! Is that any way to talk to a lady? I'd slap you if I didn't have to get up to do so!
Typical man... Am I supposed to find it some kind of compliment that you're more focused on my... mammary glands... than you are on me?
Hmph... I hoped for better, but you're all the same. All sex-driven maniacs, and I hate it.
(if his date is average - Mood-1)
Date
Um, what? Do you not know how to talk to girls?
While I can understand you admiring my bosoms, it's the sort of thing men should really pretend they're not fixated on.
Makes us feel sort of worthless when you talk to us like that, to be honest.
(if his date is kinky - Mood+1)
Date
And don't I know it! Here, let my jiggle them for you! Teehee. Turned on? ♥
Unlike many prudish examples of my sex, I love it when guys ogle my chest. I know I've got the goods, so it's nice to have that verified once in a while.
And of course, I love how I can use them to turn men on. It's hot. Mrrow.

2. "i rly liek childens"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood+1)
Date
Aww, you do? Me too! I want to have three kids one day. I'll call them Percigard, Telmslidale and Sarah-Francine.
You want to settle down and have children of your own, right?
I really admire guys who have that sort of commitment, who aren't just looking for a quick roll around in the sack with a girl.
You seem like you'd make a nice husband.
(if his date is average - Mood-1)
Date
Isn't it a bit early to be talking about children? This is our first date. You're being a little too forward for my tastes.
At the moment, I'd prefer we didn't even think about that kind of thing. If it's to happen, it'll happen naturally in due course.
(if his date is kinky - Mood-2)
Date
What are you, some kind of paedo? Of all the sex acts I enjoy, that is not one of them. It's really vile.
Even if that's not what you meant, I can't get the image out of my mind now... Eugh.

3. "so have u ever been to an orgy?"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood-2)
Date
Have I *what*?! What sort of a question is that?! You filthy my ears with such... filth!
Of course I haven't been to such a ghastly thing, in the same way I've never been to a... a killing spree or a drug rally or what have you!
I shudder to even think of it. You are quite the pervert and I don't like it.
(if his date is average - Mood-1)
Date
Um, no, that's not really my area of interest. It's all a bit to wild and out there for me.
I'm fairly comfortable with my sexuality, but I don't go around -experimenting- or any of that.
I'm perfectly fine with the- ...actually, I'm perfectly fine with keeping my sex life to myself instead of describing it to strangers, if you don't mind.
(if his date is kinky - Mood+1)
Date
Have I! I try to go to at least three a week, and I've been doing so since I was about 13, but lemme tell ya, they've not lost their edge!
There's nothing like being amidst loads of sweaty naked strangers, thrusting and writhing around addled by arousal, to make a girl feel alive.
Heh, besides, there's nothing better for a girl's self-esteem than being grabbed and groped by dozens of hungry-eyed, sexy, young nude men. Hee. ♥
How about you? You, um... don't really look like the type, to be honest. But maybe you can join me one day? ♥

4. "u look rly sexy"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood-2)
Date
Pfft, typical man, objectifying a girl, thinking her worth is determined by her looks and that everyone should think that.
That every girl should feel happy when she's told she's got a beautiful bod, just ignoring that her mind was paid no attention.
I'm frankly disgusted that this still goes on in this 21st century. It's an outrage.
(if his date is average - Mood+1)
Date
Um, thanks. I tried to make myself look nice for this, so I like knowing that my work wasn't wasted.
I used to be really self-conscious in my teenage years, and honestly I don't think I ever truly grew out of that...
It may border on sexist, but I think every girl needs to be told they're sexy every once in a while to feel happy about their bodies.
(if his date is kinky - Mood+1)
Date
You bet I am. I'm smokin', in fact. See these bosoms? These legs? I've got an hourglass figure, and dammit, I'm going to flaunt it!
And see this tight dress? Yeh, that's to emphasise the curves. I saw you staring at me as soon as you sat down, thinking 'who's this ravishing babe?'
Heh, I bet you're amazed someone as hot as me could come from the internet! Well, believe it, baby! ♥

5. "u no u dont look like a slut"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood+1)
Date
A crass way of putting it, but thank you. I hate those slappers who swagger around with their bits hanging out all over the place, teasing men like it's nothing.
It's dishonourable, I say. Those women have no shame, and they'll never get true, deep, honest love if they set themselves up as sex objects like that.
(if his date is average - Mood+1)
Date
Um, okay, thanks, I suppose. I think I know what you mean.
So many girls go overboard and dress like tramps in order to win over guys, but I'd never sink so low.
I try to look elegant and beautiful without looking oversexualised; I embrace my femininity but don't want to be an object purely of lust.
I try not to go to prudish or promiscuous extremes, so I'm glad you noticed that.
(if his date is kinky - Mood-2)
Date
What, are you calling me a prude?
Look at this bod! It's smokin'! I'm showing so much cleavage, I'm amazed the girls aren't just flopping out all over the place!
Are you saying it doesn't turn you on? Is that it? Pfft, are you even a man or what?

6. "u have rly nice eyes like uh... pretty eyes"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood-2)
Date
That's one of those things that men think they should say to make a woman happy, but it's so blatantly sexist.
As if women are nothing but beauty, as if looks are all that count...
My eyes are balls of gristle that I use to see with. I want you to look beyond them, to see my *soul*, because that's what matters to me.
I could never love a man who only looked skin deep.
(if his date is average - Mood+1)
Date
Thank you, that's kind of you.
And, um... yours, uh... yours aren't bad either? I suppose? Um.
(if his date is kinky - Mood+1)
Date
Heh, of all my bits, you bother complimenting those?
They're certainly fine, there's no doubt about that, but wouldn't you rather direct your pretty man eyes elsewhere? Down a bit, maybe?
You know you want to, big boy. Go ahead. Have a good long stare. ♥

7. "i like pertenacity more than looks"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood+1)
Date
Personality trumps looks, you say? Now THAT is the sort of thing that I like to hear!
Believe me when I say you're a rarity amongst men for thinking so, too.
Most men just stare at me, wolf whistle, or what have you... It makes me quite bitter.
Isn't it the soul that defines us? Shouldn't love be born of what's inside, not how the shell's decorated?
I've been waiting a long time to find a chap with that same outlook as me, so maybe this meeting was what I've been waiting for.
(if his date is average - Mood-1)
Date
Um, what? Are you... implying that I'm ugly?
I mean, people only ever say that sort of thing to fat girls who need something to boost their self-esteem...
But I'm not ugly, am I? Am I...?
(if his date is kinky - Mood-2)
Date
Gods, what a loserish thing to say. Did you get that out of some book of dating advice or something? What a load of crap.
And it's 'personality', not 'pernitacity' or whatever you said. At least, I assume that's what you meant to say.
You know it's a lie, anyway. No man can say that kind of thing and mean it; I know how your sex thinks. God knows I've had enough of 'em.
I don't think personality counts most, and nor do you. Sex matters, and if you were more open about it, we could have some good, honest fun, but now? Well...

8. "u look dignified and modest"

(if his date is frumpy - Mood+1)
Date
Why thank you. That's quite a compliment, sir; I'm honoured.
I try my best to have a quiet dignity about myself. I don't want to feel proud or braggy, but I know I'm a person and that I have worth, as more than a sex object.
We women have been treated as second-class citizens for too long, and it's time for it to stop. Men like you respect us, and for that, I can respect you in kind.
(if his date is average - Mood+1)
Date
Thanks, I suppose! I do my best to look nice, and usually I'm just called things like 'sexy' and 'hot', which are a bit demeaning, to be honest...
Calling me modest and dignified really feels like you're speaking to me as an equal, rather than admiring some work of art...
And that makes me feel glad and comfortable.
(if his date is kinky - Mood-2)
Date
Who do you think I am, some old woman? Some stern matronly figure who dresses in frumpy tweed ankle skirts and wooly cardigans?
I'm no prude, so I actually take offence at that, sir. I'd rather you pointed out things that I actually -was-, rather than trying to hide behind that PC feminist rubbish.

9. "thou rt like a summer breeze in the wind" (only if you picked up the poem)

(Mood+1 for all personality types)
Date
Was that poetry? Aw, that's sweet. Poetry is so romantic, but I thought it had died out in favour of Rohypnol and seedy chat-up lines.
I really appreciate you taking the time to write a really lovely poem to woo me, even before we met! Not many girls can experience that outside of romance novels.

Stumbles

These appear in place of a not-collected chat-up advice. Saying these will always decrease mood, regardless of personality.

  1. ...
  2. uh... uh...
  3. u have... uh... a nice... uh...
  4. uh... i need to do toilet
  5. i dunno what to say
  6. so... uh... how r u...
  7. uh... i collect slugs u no
  8. im a virgin

(first stumble - Mood is unaffected)

Date
Um... okay... I suppose you're not good at this whole conversation thing.
That's okay; you seem a bit nervous. Maybe you'll feel better after a bit more talking?

(second stumble - Mood-1)

Date
Nerves still got you, I take it? I've seen worse... But could you maybe try to at least be a bit engaging?

(third stumble - Mood-2)

Date
Nothing to say, eh? Right...

(fourth stumble - Mood-4)

Date
You've never done this before, have you? It's obvious. You're awful at it.
You're certainly not riveting to talk to, that's for sure... Sorry if that seems harsh, but... gods.

(fifth stumble - Mood-8)

Date
When will this night end?!

Poem Stumble

Only available if the poem is not collected. Does not count towards total number of stumbles.

  1. stop looking at me prospectantly

(Mood-1)

Date
What? You're not a very good talker, are you?

Repeats

(1st repeat - Mood-2)

Date
Yes, um, ... you already said that.

(2nd repeat - Mood-4)

Date
You like to repeat yourself, don't you?

(3rd repeat - Mood-6)

Date
Do you have some kind of memory problem?

(4th repeat - Mood-8)

Date
It's like listening to a broken record... Or a bad comedian.


Questions

Date
I know it's a trite old question by now, but what's your favourite lobe of a trilobite?
cephalon
(Positive response - Mood+1)
I don't know how anyone could like any other part most. But yay, we're cephalon buddies!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Whatever floats your boat!
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Oh, you're one of -those- people. Excuse me while glance askance at you, witheringly.
thorax
(Positive response - Mood+1)
While all the parts are golden, what could possilby beat the thorax?
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
It does have many parts, yes, but it's never really stood out to me.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
We seem to disagree on this matter, and I can see it causing us much strife in future[sic].
pygidium
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Ah, the oft-neglected arse end. I suppose we both cheer for the underdog, so to speak!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Interesting choice. Not one I share, but... interesting.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Eugh! With opinions like THAT, I bet you'd have rampant gay sex with Hitler on top of all the world's burning flags!!
Date
Everyone's into films. What's your favourite genre?
comedy
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Who doesn't love a good laugh? I know I do! I'm glad you share my tastes.
I'd be interested in watching some funny films with you sometime. I've got a few I can suggest.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
I suppose I can see the fun of a laugh every so often, but modren comedy films always seem to fall flat to me.
And they seem so.... shallow, somehow. I much prefer films that genuinely explore the human condition and enhance one's perceptions of reality.
Comedy's fine every so often, but I don't feel like I 'grow' when I watch it, and I barely remember the film afterwards.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Eh... Comedy's always seemed sort of... childish to me.
Now, um, don't be too offended or anything; it's just different tastes.
But it's just so silly, and I never seem to get it anyway. Maybe I just don't have a sense of humour; who knows?
drama
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Yes, drama is the best, I agree! So much human emotion goes into each work; I love really *feeling* the emotions of the characters.
And of course, we girls love drama. Everyone knows that! ♥
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
What is 'Drama' as a genre anyway? I've never been sure of it; I suppose I just don't take enough interest.
I hate people being melodramatic though. It just seems so fake and put on.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Oh, drama is for people who take life too seriously! People like that need to liven up once in a while!
pron
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Wow, it takes guts to admit that! But it might surprise you to learn that I agree with you.
Not only are they totally hot, but pornfilms can be educational, too, I've found!
Society has all these taboos against sex, so it'd be 'wrong' to go and see porn with your friends at the cinema, right?
But it's not similarly 'wrong' to go and see some horror slasher thing, full of brutal mutilation and what-have-you?
Yet sex is all about love and bonding, violence the opposite. Upsetting, how one's accepted but you're thought of as some deviant for embracing the other.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Typical, that. Maybe you were joking, but whatever.
Can't say I've ever seen porn myself; I usually just hear blokes talking about it. I think I'll just... stay out of it. Ignore it.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
That's disgusting. If you were trying to be funny, you weren't.
Pornography is horribly degrading to women, and it should be abolished.
That's the blunt gist of what I feel, but I'll spare you the rest of the rant for now; we're on a date.
Date
Got any interests mentioning?
sport
(Positive response - Mood+1)
You're an athlete? You, um... don't really look like one. I'm surprised.
But I'm sporty too. I like running and racing most; I'm not too big on team games.
I've won plenty of medals in my time... Hey, we should go running together sometime!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Guys who are into sport are usually really fit. And hot. Um... Well, usually.
I'm not into it myself, but I know it has benefits to the body, so I can admire you for that even if I can't relate.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Eugh, PE was always torture for me at school...
I'd be picked last for team games - not that I wanted to participate at all - and when I did have to do something, I tried to run away from the action.
So, um... I'm not really fond of sporty people, sorry.
computers
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Ooh, hardware or software? I'm into both, myself!
Heh, maybe it surprises you that a dainty girl like me is into something so nerdy, but I assure you it's true.
My dad's a software engineer, so I suppose it's just always been around me, and it was natural I developed an interest in it.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Computers are the way the world is going, aren't they?
I've never really got into them myself, but I've heard it pays to be competent in IT.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Nerd!
Heh... Not many men would openly admit to such a hobby on their first date, since it's not what girls tend to find attractive, sorry.
knitting
(Positive response - Mood+1)
You, a bloke, -knit-? I can't believe it! So do I, and I always dreamed of a partner who shared my hobby but never thought it possible!
We'll have to knit together sometime; that'd be like a dream come true.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
That's a fairly obscure hobby you've got there. Not something I'd expect from a chap.
Especially one with meaty fingers like yours... No offence.
I don't know much about it; you'll have to describe it to me sometime. Uh, not now though, please.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Wait, did you just say 'knitting'? Are you joking?
That's... pretty sad, to be honest. Not something a hunky stud muffin would do, that's for sure.
Date
Hmm... As a man, what might you consider one of your defining traits?
niceness
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Aw, that's lovely. I thought you might brag about the size of your muscles or other body parts or something, but that's such a nice and gentle answer.
I really like nice guys. I've never liked bad boys; they're just evil, I think.
Give me a nice guy any day, and I'll be happy!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Nice guys tend to make good husband material; that's what they say... So you've got that going for you.
They're, um... not all that much fun though, sorry. Not full of passion or excitement...
(Negative response - Mood-1)
You sound like a bit of a pansy. Where have all the big strong men gone?
I want a bloke who can protect me, who can ravage me, who can even, hell, conquer me, win me over...
Nice guys finish last for a reason, that's what I say. Sorry if this hurts your gentle feelings, but you shouldn't really have them anyway, huh?
confidence
(Positive response - Mood+1)
A confident man can make a great partner to rely on... There's no denying that.
He can help us when we're down, and lead us when we're full of doubt. He knows what to say, and that's appealing to a lot of us.
And it's a well-known fact that the more you swagger around expecting people to be in love with you the more they actually *are*, so... yeh.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
I can see why that might be the case.
I bet you're the type to jump around on the roofs of buildings and so on, aren't you, without a care in the world?
It's sort of... interesting, but not really a trait I'm in love with.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Hmm...
I hesitate to say this, but I personally feel that 'confidence' is just a word that arrogant people use to positively describe their obnoxious attitudes.
'Confident' guys push others around, and I hate that...
paranoia
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Paranoia! Now that's cute. Really, it is; it's one of my biggest turn-ons, I'll have you know!
I just love a man who's constantly raving about how everyone's out to get him, as if he's so important.. Me-ow.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
That's a... weird answer! Hee, I take it you're joking? Right? ...Right?
Um, if not, I hope it's... pretty mild, at least? Um.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
You shouldn't joke about mental disorders like that... They're a serious problem to many people.
Unless you DO have that disorder? In which case, um... you are quite unlucky, then.
Date
So... how about that 'internet' thing, eh?
i use it a lot
(Positive response - Mood+1)
I'm constantly online, myself! And it's how we met, of course, so maybe you already know that.
It's just so wonderful being able to stay in touch with people the world over at the click of a button, from the comfort of your own home.
And you get to meet people you'd never normally exchange words with, and, um, we get things like this date...
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
I hope you take care not to become addicted, though.
It's good and all, but I've heard stories about nerdy guys dying at their computers after using the internet for days at a time without food or rest.
And it has the side effect of making you lose your real friends if you aren't careful...
(Negative response - Mood-1)
That seems... pretty sad, actually. How much? Like every day?
What is there to be got from the internet that you can't get in real life?
Besides, real life is much richer, and you live a more fulfilling life without the internet.
Sometimes I wish it'd never been invented.
i just use it for e-mails
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Yeh, I don't really get it all that much either. It's good for keeping in touch and arranging things like this, but I'd only ever use it for real life stuff. Not like those people who basically live on the internet. What's with them?
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Different tastes, I suppose. Do you not know how to use it, or do you just not want to?
It has its bad points, but it has many benefits, too; maybe you should use it a bit more, and learn some new things.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
You remind me of my grandparents! They're technophobes, and completely resistant to the new world.
But I don't think you can survive without getting into it. Adapt or be lost; that's the way it always goes.
i hate it
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Finally! A kindred spirit!
Usually when I complain about my own hatred of the internet, I'm just called a wet blanket and stuff, people don't get it...
But it's ruining the world, I think. Confining people to their rooms, cheapening friendships...
Soon nobody will get out at all, and everyone will die. Then they'll see!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
I suppose I can see why, even if I don't share your view.
There are a lot of dangers online, and it can be a scary place at times.
And conversations are never the same without proper human contact...
Still, it's good for meetings like this, eh? You've got to at least admit it?
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Well... well... I hate that you hate it!
That's a really old-fashioned view to have, you know. It's people like you that make technology develop slower than it could.
I dream of a world full of VR stuff and robots, but people like you would never let it happen...
So I suppose we're on different sides of the battlefield when it comes to this, hrm.
Date
Um... where do you stand on the matter of faith? I mean, religion. Do you have any specific beliefs?
im a christian
(Positive response - Mood+1)
I am thankful, as I, too, am a follower of our lord Jesus Christ.
You're a creationist too, right? I just can't stand these damned -evolutionists- claiming that the Earth is older than 6000 years old! What nonsense!
One time, some -atheist- (the horns gave him away) had the nerve to claim that I believe the world was made after humans invented glue.
Pfft! What nerve! I long for the day when he and other sinners will burn in our merciful Lord's fiery pit of eternal torture.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Oh, are you? I'm not really religious myself - just wasn't raised that way - but I'm a bit spiritual and open to anything, really.
I've heard that Christians are really nice people...
And I can't help but admire your hard-headded stubbornness and inability to change your beliefs even in the face of hard scientific facts.
I think it shows spectacular resolve.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Oh, damn. That might spoil things a bit. Y'see, I'm not too fond of Believers...
Devoting their lives to being the servant of some invisible Jewish zombie or some nonsense like that. Seems such a waste to me.
And don't get me started on their negative influence on the world around us!
Sorry... I know it probably means a lot to you, your faith, but I just don't share it.
im a yalortian
(Positive response - Mood+1)
ALL HAIL YALORT!
There aren't many of us these days, are there? Not after The Dreaded Incident. It's rare to see a fellow cultling.
And satisfying, too! I'm glad we can relate in such an obscure way! ♥
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
What's one of those? I can't say I've ever heard of them...
It sounds made up, though. If you did just make it up, then, um, haha. Funny. Yes.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Are you mocking me, with a nonsense answer like that? There's no such religion as that, surely.
I'd prefer it if you would answer my questions seriously... Humour's fine in moderation, but in excess it just gets on my nerves.
im an atheist
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Ah, a fellow Free Thinker! I'm glad you're not bound by the shackles of faith.
It'd be difficult if you were; I'm sure you'd not react kindly to my ranting about how much religion really bothers me if you followed one yourself.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
I suppose I'm agnostic; I don't believe in any gods, but I don't really see the need to go on about it.
I understand where you atheists are coming from, but I don't really agree with you trying to abolish religion...
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Godless heathen! You'll surely regret your hubris, your defiance of your eternal masters, when you find yourself in the afterlife!
I beg you to find religion soon, any religion - preferably mine - if you care one whit about your eternal soul!!
Date
You're not into video games, are you?
i like rpgs
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Ooh, so do I! I love a good plot, and there's just something more intellectually satisfying about fighting with numbers and menus than with jumping and shooting.
My favourite's probably a game called MARDEK. Yep. That's a good game. No joke.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
I've played a few of those. They're okay, but they seem to get boring after a while.
And they're all the same, I thought... About some young Japanese boy trying to kill some evil wizard or something? I don't know.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
RPGs? They're such a waste of time! So self-indulgent, and they just go on and on and on!
Modern RPGs are just all about grinding, anyway, and I can't stand it.
I'd rather play a game that I could win through skill, not number crunching and endurance of repetition.
i like fpsss
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Oh, hell yeh! Me too! Nothing's sweeter than a good frag in the morning, don't you agree, mate?
Shooting up strangers in cold blood just makes me feel big inside. It's awesome.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Um, okay, I'd expect that of a guy, to be honest. They're usually the ones into that kind of thing.
I've never played one myself; much too violent for my tastes.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
I hate that genre. Murdering others in cold blood for little or no reason? Eugh.
What's worse is that it puts you directly behind the gun, so you're not controlling some avatar to do your dirty deeds; -you- do it.
i dun like vido gaems
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Ah, yay! Nor do I, but I'm usually hard pressed to find a young man who doesn't these days. I just find them so vulgar, so puerile, and detriment to society. finding fun in simulated violence... Sigh, what a world! I'm glad I can complain -with- you rather than -at- you about this!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
You don't? It's your choice, I suppose.
I've played them before, a few times, but they're not a big part of my life or anything, so I wouldn't mind someone with a different view on the matter.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Oh, a hater... Damn. Maybe I'll not mention my own sleepless nights playing MMORPGs, or high scores on so many, many games...
Sorry, um, let's talk about something else.
Date
So, um, what music do you like, then?
i like rock
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Me too! I just love the power, the energy of rock. The fiery passion of the speed and volume of the music!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Oh, rock's okay, I suppose. Not really my kind of thing, but honestly I've barely heard any of it.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
I hate rock. It's so vulgar... and reminds me of teenagers, wanting to be rebels.
That, and rowdiness and roughness. I just don't like it at all.
i like classical
(Positive response - Mood+1)
As do I. It's so exquisitely complex, yet harmoniously beautiful. Truly, Classical is the most artistic of musics...
All those modern genres are just poor imitations; they get on my nerves.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Ooh, Classical's rather nice, isn't it? I don't really listen to it myself, but I hear it on the radio sometimes, and it's okay.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Don't people who listen to Classical only do so to seem all -cultured- and -refined- and all that? It's always struck me as pretentious.
It's so -old-... I prefer more current music, myself.
i like eskimo throat singing
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Oh, wow, another fan! We seem to be rare these days.
There's just something about inuit throat singing that puts it above all other forms of human musical expression, don't you think?
I don't know what that something is, though. Probably the fact that they make noises with their throats.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
I don't actually know what that is... It sounds interesting though. Odd, but interesting.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
I heard that once... It was awful.
How can you even consider it music? It was just women grunting at eachother. There was no melody, no harmony; nothing to draw me to it.
Date
What would be an ideal job for your partner to have?
nurse
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Brilliant! Since I am a nurse, you see!
I wonder if you find women in uniform sexy? Or if there's more to it than that.
I mean, I like being a nurse because I get to help people, so I hope that's why you'd admire that job.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Oh, really? I'm not a nurse, but I suppose maybe I can admire them too. They do help people, and stuff.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Pfft. Nurses. Trollops, the lot of them!
All they do is strut around in their sexy uniforms, touching helpless people all day! Demanding respect they've never earned!
secretary
(Positive response - Mood+1)
I'm glad that's the case, since I happen to be a secretary.
It's a fairly boring job, but I like that you hold realistic standards rather than something... superhuman.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
That's a fairly boring preference, actually; I'm mildly surprised.
And yet you strike me as a fairly boring man, so... hmm.
I wonder if you knew or fancied a pretty young secretary once, or something!
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Couldn't you set your sights a little higher? I don't like that whole world of business...
It always seems like some soulless machine to me, and besides, most secretaries are bimbos.
They're usually only hired so the big fat boss man can have affairs, and chosen for their youth and looks.
stripper
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Heh, typical of a man to say that. But y'know... I happen to be a stripper. Maybe that excites you.
It feels like just another job. I show up at work, take my clothes off for some drooling old men, and spend the whole time wondering about where my life's going.
But still, it's sweet that you'd mention that job as your favourite. It makes me feel more appreciated in some small way.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Oh, ha ha. I suppose that was to be expected; men are so lust-driven that they'd love a stripper wife.
Not that it's very respectable for her sake or anything...
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Pfft. Typical. I can't say I'm amused by the thought, but I bet you'd love it, like all men would.
But suggest the opposite - a fat old woman married to a young, fit male stripper - and that doesn't seem so sexy now, does it?
Date
Do you go to many parties?
yes lots i love them
(Positive response - Mood+1)
Me too! Aren't they great? ♥
I can't feel alive unless I'm surrounded by strangers, pulsing and gyrating and singing and dancing.
The life, the energy, at a party... the feeling of being around others. Amazing.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Um, good for you. You seem to be more fond of them than I am, but that's okay.
(Negative response - Mood-1)
I hope you don't go out binge drinking, or doing any of that -grinding- or whatever it is people do these days.
The things that people do at these wild parties... Shames me just to think about it.
I've never been one for parties, so... let's just get off the topic.
their okay ive been to sum bfore
(Positive response - Mood+1)
While I'm no party animal, I do see the appeal of an occasional social gathering with a few friends.
Sounds to me like you're similar, so I'm glad we can relate there!
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Moderation's always best, that's what they say, right?
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Aw, man, you don't sound like you're very popular! You weren't one of the unpopular boys at school, were you?
I'm getting the sinking feeling that you may well be...
i hate parties never go to them
(Positive response - Mood+1)
I'm so, so glad of that!
I've always hated parties too, and while I've been invited to a handful - it's hard to avoid if you're a pretty girl - I never go to them. I hate the idea.
I'm not a fan of big crowds, and they just seem so... shallow.
Give me a one-on-one conversation any day. That's so much better.
(Neutral response - Mood is unaffected)
Aw, poor you. I sense you're bitter about them because you were unpopular, but some people are just unlucky...
(Negative response - Mood-1)
Pfft, what a square you are. I bet you don't even know how to have fun.
Anyway, moving swiftly along...

Endings

Date
Now then, it's getting late, so, um...

Best Ending

If Mood>74

Date
Wow, you've really surprised me tonight. I'm really impressed. And quite flustered, hot...
How's about you come back to my place, big boy?

Oh, wow! You SCORED! ♥

This date has gone better than your wildest dreams! She clearly seems to be taken with you, you smooth, smooth tiger, you. Surely, this is the start of an amazing future!

Good Ending

If Mood>39

Date
I must say, this, um, wasn't as bad as I expected... Sorry if that came out wrong, but I mean it as a compliment!
We should try to do it again sometime, maybe, if you're up to it.

All in all, it could have gone much worse, even if this isn't exactly what you'd wished for. Not bad at all for an ugly virgin's first date!

With future dates in store, Clarence is a happy man.

Neutral Ending

If Mood>30

Date
You seem like a really nice guy and all... I'd like to stay friends with you, if possible. I don't think we're quite on the same level, but we can always just chat.

Well, at least she didn't hate you. That in itself is more than you could have expected.

Keep this up, and one day, you might get what you're after! You've made the first steps to a whole new you.

Bad Ending

If Mood>5

Date
I don't think this is working out. It's just... never going to happen. We're not right for eachother at all.
Let's part ways peacefully. Please don't stalk me.

That was disappointing... if not at all surprising.

What nerve you had, thinking that a 35-year-old, ugly, socially incompetent virgin would have any chance with a lovely lady like that! She was WAY out of your league.

Maybe in future try to aim lower... or accept that you're going to remain lonely forever.

Worst Ending

If Mood≤5

Date
This has well and truly been the worst night of my life. Words can't do justice to how torturous it was.
I'm sorry - Clarence, was it? - but I simply can't stand you. You're vile. Good bye.

Your whole world has been shattered. Your ego, strewn across the floor like so much bat guano.

How can you continue to face a life so bleak? You feel like you just want to end it all. In fact, maybe you will.

Trivia

  • The highest possible mood is 82. If the Hamburger was collected, this is lowered by 1.
  • The lowest possible mood is -31. As this requires buying all negative gifts and not having a date of average libido, only the very (un)lucky can achieve this.
  • It is never possible to get both the best and worst ending on the same playthrough (without returning to complete more in the game).
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