Conversation Topics are things that Clarence Lardbottom can say to his date at the Fancy Restaurant in Clarence's Big Chance. They can increase her mood, decrease it, or have no effect on it. Clarence can say a total of n things during the date sequence.

Default topics

Clarence has access to nine conversation topics by default, all of which decrease his date's mood.

List of default topics

... uh... uh... u have... uh... a nice... uh...
uh... i need to do toilet i dunno what to say so... uh... how r u...
uh... i collect slugs u no im a virgin stop looking at me prospectantly

Chat-up Advice

The default nine conversation topics can be replaced by better ones by receiving Chat-up Advice from coworkers and items. Most of these new nine conversation topics only appeal to certain personality types; using an incorrect conversation topic decreases Clarence's date's mood.

List of chat-up advice

Conversation Appeals to Learnt from
uh... thems some nice boobys u have Kinky Executive in Burning Room, second floor.
i rly liek childens Frumpy Lady on first floor.
so have u ever been to an orgy Kinky Lost Employee Bonebert
u look rly sexy Kinky, Average Executive Bruce
u no u dont look like a slut Average, Frumpy Office Drone Dave
u have rly nice eyes like uh... pretty eyes Kinky, Average Receptionist Tanya
i like pertinacity more than looks Frumpy Employee Archibald
u look dignified and modest Average, Frumpy Executive Natalie
thou rt like a summer breeze in the wind All Learn from Soppy Poem


  • Programmers are the only type of employee who do not give Clarence any advice for his date.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.